Posted on by walkingquestionmark360 · 4 Comments

The inner misanthrope bows out

A period of wintery reflection has encouraged me to look back and learn from the tones and textures of paths already trodden.

Once upon a time, my younger self saw that the world was broken and that contemporary society was quite rotten. As a result of this (correct) observation, the youthful me wanted as little as possible to do with ‘normal’, and viewed everything through a lens of fiercely individualistic misanthropy. This was a perfectly reasonable stepping stone to land upon. 

“Most of the world is either asleep or dead. 
The religious people are, for the most part, asleep. 
The irreligious are dead.” 

Thomas Merton

I still cherish my inner misanthrope – she knew that something was wrong, and she kindly steered me away from the toxic mainstream and towards a process of deeper questioning. However, it is now time for her to take a bow and exit the stage. She has served her purpose. Scorn and disdain are no longer necessary as protective allies. Today I can do better than this. Developing real faith (by making the journey from faith in self to faith in God) means that I am capable of loving and empathising with my fellow humans. 

For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.

2 Timothy 1:7

We are all here undertaking this incredibly difficult journey, and most of us find ourselves adrift in a sea of pointless materialism, deep in forgetting and entirely without wise guidance. It often amazes me that any of us are sane. A softening in my attitude towards the people around me has arisen in tandem with a deepening of my understanding of disharmony as a teaching mechanism. Seeing this more clearly means that I no longer need to pour all of my energy into protecting myself from disharmonious people and situations. The negative, the challenging, the difficult and the crooked are the means by which we learn. Interestingly, I have found that the more I accept this, the more I encounter harmony.

Consider the work of God;
For who can make straight what He has made crooked?
In the day of prosperity be joyful,
But in the day of adversity consider:
Surely God has appointed the one as well as the other,
So that man can find out nothing that will come after him.

Ecclesiastes 2:17

In light of the above, I have four daily contemplations that have been providing me with good company. They represent the shift in attitude that I am currently navigating.

  1. Discern the difference between what one wants to do and what one ought to do.
  2. Differentiate between glorification of self and glorification of God.
  3. Look from a perspective of love. 
  4. Hold life with an open hand.

Posted on by walkingquestionmark360

Night Thought – Kathleen Raine

My soul and I last night
Looked down together.
I said, 'Here we are, come
To the worst. Look down
That chasm where all has fallen,
The rose-bush and the garden 
And the ancestral hills,
Every remembered stone.
Of that first house
There is no trace, none.
You'll never cross that burn,
Again, nor the white strand
Where lifted from the deep
Shells lie upon the sand
Or among sea-pinks blown,
Never hear again
those wild sea-voices call,
Eider and gull rejoicing.
Turn away, turn
From the closed door of home,
You live there no longer,
Nor shall again.
You have no place at all 
Anywhere on earth
That is your own, and none
Calls you back again.'

Soul said, 'Before you were
I spanned the abyss:
Freedom it is, unbounded,
Unbounded laughter, Come!'
Kathleen by Juliet Van Otteren
Posted on by walkingquestionmark360

A reminder from Paul

All Scripture is given by inspiration of God, and is profitable for doctrine, for reproof, for correction, for instruction in righteousness, that the man of God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.

2 Timothy 3:16

Posted on by walkingquestionmark360 · 2 Comments

Going up in smoke

The soul that projects itself entirely into activity, and seeks itself outside itself in the work of its own will is like a madman who sleeps on the sidewalk in front of his house instead of living inside where it is quiet and warm. The soul that throws itself outdoors in order to find itself in the effects of its own work is like a fire that has no desire to burn but seeks only to go up in smoke.

Thomas Merton
Posted on by walkingquestionmark360

Alone in reality

The man who fears to be alone will never be anything but lonely, no matter how much he may surround himself with people. But the man who learns, in solitude and recollection, to be at peace with his own loneliness, and to prefer its reality to the illusion of merely natural companionship, comes to know the invisible companionship of God. Such a one is alone with God in all places, and he alone truly enjoys the companionship of other men, because he loves them in God in Whom their presence is not tiresome, and because of Whom his own love for them can never know satiety.”

Thomas Merton, no man is an island
Posted on by walkingquestionmark360 · 1 Comment

Thanksgiving

Today, I take a moment to create a space of gratitude in honour of my fellow pilgrims. 

I give thanks for their enquiring minds and their loving hearts. 

I give thanks for their tenacity in seeking answers to painful questions. 

I give thanks for their humour in the midst of insanity. 
 
I give thanks that they are brave enough to change. 

I give thanks because they have helped me to understand what home is. 

To all of you, from me, with as much love as you can handle. 
 
Your truthful presence changes everything. 
The other JC
Posted on by walkingquestionmark360

Fire of the spirit

Fire of the Spirit, life of the lives of creatures,
spiral of sanctity, bond of all natures,
glow of charity, lights of clarity, taste
of sweetness to sinners, be with us and hear us.

Composer of all things, light of all the risen,
key of salvation, release from the dark prison,
hope of all unions, scope of chastities, joy
in the glory, strong honour, be with us and hear us.

Amen.

Hildegard Von Bingen.
Hildegard of Bingen
Posted on by walkingquestionmark360

Magnificat

The Canticle of Mary

Magnificat anima mea Dominum;
Et exsultavit spiritus meus in Deo salutari meo,
Quia respexit humilitatem ancillae suae; 
ecce enim ex hoc beatam me dicent omnes generationes.
Quia fecit mihi magna qui potens est, et sanctum nomen ejus,
Et misericordia ejus a progenie in progenies timentibus eum.
Fecit potentiam in bracchio suo;
Dispersit superbos mente cordis sui.
Deposuit potentes de sede, et exaltavit humiles.
Esurientes implevit bonis, et divites dimisit inanes.
Suscepit Israel, puerum suum, recordatus misericordiae suae,
Sicut locutus est ad patres nostros, Abraham et semini ejus in saecula.
Gloria Patri, et Filio, et Spiritui Sancto,: sicut erat in principio,
Et nunc, et semper: et in Saecula saeculorum. 
Amen
My soul proclaims the greatness of the Lord,
my spirit rejoices in God my Savior,
for he has looked with favor on his humble servant.
From this day all generations will call me blessed,
the Almighty has done great things for me,
and holy is his Name.
He has mercy on those who fear Him
in every generation.
He has shown the strength of his arm,
he has scattered the proud in their conceit.
He has cast down the mighty from their thrones,
and has lifted up the humble.
He has filled the hungry with good things,
and the rich he has sent away empty.
He has come to the help of his servant Israel
for he has remembered his promise of mercy,
the promise he made to our fathers,
to Abraham and his children for ever.
Glory to the Father, and to the Son, and to the Holy Spirit,
as it was in the beginning, is now, and will be for ever.
Amen.