Me, my, mine…

Father, I want to know You, but my coward heart fears to give up its toys. I cannot part from them without inward bleeding, and I do not try to hide from You the terror of the parting. I come trembling, but I do come. Please root from my heart all those things which I have cherished so long and which have become a very part of my living self, so that You may enter and dwell there without a rival. Then shall You make the place of Your feet glorious. Then shall my heart have no need of the sun to shine in it, for You Yourself will be the light of it, and there shall be no night there. In Jesus' Name, Amen.
A prayer by A.W. Tozer, from The Pursuit of God


Our peace in this present life should not depend on absence of adversity but on humble acceptance. Those who accept suffering will enjoy peace. Such a person is a conqueror of the self, a ruler of the world, a friend of Christ and an inheritor of heaven.

Thomas à Kempis, The Imitation of Christ

No One Lives His Life – Rilke

Disguised since childhood,
haphazardly assembled
from voices and fears and little pleasures,
we come of age as masks.

Our true face never speaks.
Somewhere there must be storehouses
where all these lives are laid away
like suits of armour or old carriages
or cloths hanging limply on the walls.

Maybe all paths lead here,
to the repository of unlived things. 

Rainer Maria Rilke, The Book of Hours, Book 2

Graven image

I made an idol of my life - 
my expression, 
my activity, 
my achievement.

I polished, perfected 
and worshipped my creations, 
failing to notice that my gifts
were a gift. 

I rightly shored up
my fortress from attack, 
with acts of independence
and power. 

But with such armaments,
my heart was incarcerated -
all forms became hollow 
and dry. 

So my folly was exposed 
in a thousand myriad ways, 
as a choreographed play 
of counterfeit control. 

As the last in line 
of the daughters of Eve,
it was strange relief 
to submit and accept: 
my weakness, 
my fragility, 
my dependence.

I am now as I always was - 
helpless unless carried 
by the stream 
of the living Spirit. 

6th September 2020, Somerset, England
With thanks to the exhortation of A.Ha.